MemoryLane Forgotten

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

All n All Sum Up to a Misunderstanding

Fine. Everything ended up to be a misunderstanding. Hmmm. I think i will just accept all his explanation. He has his point. The way he reacted might be just anyone normal reaction. Sigh. However he neglected my circumstances at that point of time. Maybe most guys are too insensitive and they never think too much of the consequences. Sigh.

Work has been really busy nowadays. Tired. Voiceless now. On a phone marathon last night even my throat is not comfortable. Haiz. Talk to 3 person straight. One after another. Now, i have no voice le. Rarr!!! Zzzz. Having a headache now. M i gg to get sick soon? Dun wan. Gg to have exam soon. N my workload a lot. Cannot. I must faster recover. God. Please dun let me get sick.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Another Call

Yesterday night, he attempt to call and at the the very 'right' timing again. I was having lesson when i felt the vibration of my phone again. I looked at it. Well. He used his house phone to call me this time round. Smart. Sadly i had the record of his house number too.

I did thought of calling him back and shout at him. I wanted to tell him that he should be able to sense my coldness and should just leave me alone.

After i simmer down, i decided that if he ever attempt to call me again and the next time round at the right timing, i shall answer his call. We shall then sort things through. I did not want to make it sound like i was being petty and that i misunderstood all his motives and misjudged all the things he had said. Ok. I will be fair. I would give him one last chance for him to make himself clear.

This whole thing might no longer be a secret. I think it is time to reveal it to the person whom i have been keeping from. I hope that she would forgive me. Sorry for not hinting another friend advice that i should not tell her. But i was afraid that if he ever get to her, it would be best that i told her myself. I treasure her as a friend and i really did not want anything to destroy our friendship. N surely not because of him. It is totally not worth it.

I shall c how things proceed. Hope for the best.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Suddenly Worned

Yesterday was a BAD day. Today is a BAD day too. It seem every this period of the month will not be my days.

A lot of things happen yesterday. Work was not that smooth.

Furthermore after work, if i was not mistaken, i finally bumped into the person whom i had not seem for 5 years and i had imagined how it would be like to ever meet him. A person was walking pass me at a very fast pace and busy talking on the phone. He looked and sound familiar. I turned and took another glance of him as the distance between us get wider. It was really unbelievable.

Nearing the end of my day, a person whom i would never want to receive any more phone call or messages called me again. It was 9.30pm and i was still having class when i felt vibration of my phone. The phone displayed the name of the person calling. What the Hell. Had i not make it very clear to him that i did not want to have anything more to do with him ever again. Is he really so insensitive or slow to realise all that? I noted his suggestion. Yet i could not help to think if he really mean it the way he made it sound or did he have a motive that his purpose n aim was only for that one thing. "Never judge a book by its cover". This phrase suit him totally. For numerous time, i was very offended by his rudeness towards me. He overdid some thing that he knew he should never intrude. I always remember the day when he said that i was just trying to sympathise him and probably that i was rolling my eyes and thinking how a idiotic fool he was. Fine. That is how he judge me. Wow. Thanks a lot man. All the things that he had done and his judgement of me made it clear that i was just a tool and he did not regard me as a friend at all. I knew it all along and i only accepted the reality when it is provened.

Today, another person totally 'make' my day in the morn. I m terribly sorry for that i have been telling u that i m alright yesterday when i m not and that i only tell u at the end of the day. I know that i m at fault and that do give u a right to be angry. However u should have at least try to make the person feel better first b4 u even go about telling that u r piss by it. U even asked me what do i treat u as. U even say that i m pushing u away. U even asked me why do i everytime keep things to myself. Rarrrrr!!! How i know?! That is me. I m who i m. I thought u know and that u understand me. Btw, it is not everytime also lo. Seriously. Sometime i find it hard to talk to u. I always feel that there are not all things i can tell u. I can be very frank at time only when i think it is ok. I m afraid that u will be affected. I m afraid that u will over-react. I m afraid that i would not get the sort of reply i wanted and i would be disappointed or be pissed like now. M i being unreasonable here? NO...

I m really v TIRED now... As if i have no enough burdens...more burdens are added on to me...

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Contented

I have not blogged for a month. Hahax. Life is ok. A lot of thing happen here n there. Busy. V occupied. A small little conflict with my bf. Meeting up with him once or twice a week. Gathering with colleagues for Korean buffet. Nicey. Shopping w Xiao Ting. Lots of Movies. Ironman. What Happens in Vegas. Etc. Meet up with Xin Yi.

I miss everyone. Jace. Levin. Pam. Emme. Caren. Ade. Angel5Clanz. Ex classmates. Haiz. Hope to meet up with all of them soon. Everyone seem so Busy. But it is really hard to keep in contact with everyone. Esp when we r of different cliques n lost in contact for a few years.

I m coping well with my study n work. Anyway, i m v contented with the way my life is. I like being occupied with not too much spare time. Coz i hate the emptiness feeling i will get when i have nothing to do or when i suddenly felt alone.

Maybe it is coz that i m so in Love. I m living in my own world. My world of Happiness. Hehex. Danny really added a lot of colour to my life. I m not that pessimistic like last time. Life is not that lost n lonely. At least that there is no more uncertainty like last year, so there is so much less trouble. I have someone who is alwaz there for me. He is really sweet at time. However i find him kind of insensitive at time. Haiz. I think most guys are like that de ba. Hahax. At the beginning i m really unclear n unsure about this whole thing. Thinking if it is due to a wrong reason which is why i accepted this relationship. At the same time, i even think that i m crazy coz i have so much to juggle like study, work n friend n as if i will have time for relationship. Anyway, I have a change in mind now. No matter what. I m really glad about starting this whole thing. Thinking about it, it is like making a big round n getting back to square/ original position. I mean me n him la. Ya. Anyway, I m really fortunate to have him in my life now. Bleah.

I just hope that my happiness will really last.

However, i cannot help but look back at time. I always wonder a what if. I always imagine of a different ans n ending. There r a part of me still holding on n wondering.

However i will still move on. I will cherish all that i have now. I shld be contented. I shall stop looking back. Putting the past behind me.